Reconnecting in a Remote World

A personal quest for meaning, connection, and community in the age of AI

As I navigated the Beijing subway in 2011, I couldn’t help but be amazed by the number of people walking with their faces glued to their phones. The rest of my trip to China was not the same as Beijing, and I’d only encountered such constantly connected isolationism back home. At that point, home was Washington DC, a solipsistic work-obsessed metropolis of ladder climbers who couldn’t be bothered to look up from their phones while walking their dogs, let alone when someone walked by them on the street. I had long been surprised and somewhat jaded by this seeking for connection on a screen with pictures and text, and missing the opportunities right in front of their face.

When I was one of these young professionals, I kept my school job at the coffee shop, because I loved being a warm, friendly face serving a warm friendly moment of connection to the people who I thought needed it. They also lived there afterall. Years later, when we started our coffee shop, we did so with the express intent of being a place and fostering genuine connection, and leaving politics at the door, to avoid that particular source of alienation and isolation. 

Tanker trucks of ink have been spilled about the isolation of the modern world, and how isolated and disconnected we’ve become, despite constant access to each other via apps. And there are certainly ways to stay in touch, but it’s just impersonal thumb tapping and posting images and texts that hide what we’re really feeling: alone. 

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, reflecting on how Pope Leo XIV, early in his pontificate, has already voiced concern over “developments in artificial intelligence that pose new challenges for the defense of human dignity, justice and labor.” His chosen name echoes Pope Leo XIII, who expressed similar concerns about the effects of the Industrial Revolution on the dignity of the same. 

I’m most struck by the degree to which human dignity is already suffering in the modern world. I’m no expert, and I’m not into confidently saying anything about the future, which is notoriously hard to predict, but as we enter deeper into a time of upheaval in work with AI and robotics, I still seek to find and foster meaning and connection. 

Where can we find more of these things in the modern world? How can we find meaning as work as we know it could erode quickly? How can we respect others as the idol of politics stops us from seeing the other as human? How to remember we were made for connection, and community, and collaboration? 

My Personal Quest and Its Tools

For me, the two answers I seek to explore, and hopefully draw you into, dear reader, lie in two profound and personal passions: coffee and language learning. 

The Power of Coffee

Coffee has been a constant in my entire adult life, bringing me loads of good friends, fun times, and brief but meaningful interactions. Think how universal it is to 'grab a coffee' – an implicit invitation to connect. Imagine a chaotic morning, you’re flustered and tired, hoping a coffee fixes the latter. But then, the friendly face behind the counter is there in that moment for you alone, offering eye contact and body language, listening as you perhaps even pour out your heart. You leave feeling refreshed, your load lightened, and with a warm cup to keep that sensation alive. And even if you don't drink coffee, the principle applies: cultivate relationships at your local 'third places.' Go every day until they recognize you, until you become a beloved regular who embodies the very spirit of that shared space.

The Gift of Language

I can say the same about languages. I got good enough at Spanish in high school to secretly talk smack with my friends on field trips, which was fun. I got good enough at Chinese to haggle and run my mouth in China buying cheap stuff at markets because it was also very fun, but also because I didn’t want to pay the 'white people price.' But beyond the fun, these languages opened doors to truly meaningful encounters. I had a serious conversation with a woman at a Chinese hostel who dreamed of the American dream. And when I studied Polish and dabbled in Ukrainian, I not only dove into the culture and history of my own family tree, but I met a lifelong friend – a fellow language learner with whom I still text in Polish, receiving English replies, correcting each other, and mostly just keeping up on life and his seemingly constant vacations.

Shared Essence

Both coffee and language learning have been immense sources of genuine connection and friendship in my life. They require presence, vulnerability, and a willingness to step outside your comfort zone and truly engage with another person.

The Arc of Disconnection and My Role

Using these two deeply personal starting points, this project will become a sort of personal quest to explore the many facets of disconnection and isolation that may only be exacerbated as AI becomes more pervasive. This is an active search for antidotes, and I’m inviting you along to help find them. 

For instance, while coffee shops can be the classic third place, vibrant hubs for genuine connection outside of the complexities of life, how often have you walked in to find every table taken up by a single remote worker with headphones, inadvertently eschewing the possibility for spontaneous and serendipitous interaction? It will take conscious effort to dig us out of this hole and intentionally foster something better.

What to Expect, and an Invitation

So what can you expect? I will share candid observations from my own experiences. Successes, awkward attempts, and unexpected moments of grace. I hope to find people with whom to discuss these ideas, who also feel this yearning and are actively trying to live out solutions. I will share my own struggles and reflections as I do the same. 

If you too feel this yearning to reconnect in a remote world, I invite you to join me on this journey. I'll be sharing stories from coffee shops and language exchanges, interviewing people who are actively building connection in unexpected places, and exploring what authentic community looks like in an AI-driven world. Subscribe to follow along as we build bridges and unite the archipelago we've become.